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Book Recomendation: Only You Can Be You

Author Erik Rees, who developed and wrote the book for the S.H.A.P.E. model has a second book that looks to be even better.  For those unfamiliar Mr. Rees is the Pastor of Life Mission at Saddleback Community Church, in Lake Forest, CA.  In 2006 he released a book titled “S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life”.  The book uses Bible scripture references to help you define your:

Spiritual Gifts: A set of special abilities that God has given you to share his love and serve others.
Heart: The special passions God has given you so that you can glorify him on earth.
Abilities: The set of talents God gave you when you were born, which he also wants you to use to make an impact for him.
Personality: The special way God wired you to navigate life and fulfill your unique Kingdom Purpose.
Experiences: Those parts of your past, both positive and painful, which God intends to use in great ways.

Now though I would recommend a full personality assessment for the “P” part of S.H.A.P.E., the book is still a good resource for those in search of the purpose they have been created to live.

This second book is an application of what is learned about yourself in the first book.  The book “Only You Can Be You” is a 21 day journey through which you can help “make your life count”.  If you have read S.H.A.P.E. and want a good application tool for the things you learned look into “Only You”. If you have no read “S.H.A.P.E.” and are looking to find your purpose in life I can’t recommend the book highly enough.

Once you have read these you might want to learn more about yourself, your personality or your passions.  There are many other tools available to dive even deeper in to these topics that can be found at HTTP://  Come for a visit…

Six Cell Model – FIRO

The Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation assessment tool, otherwise known as the FIRO, FIRO-B or FIRO Business, breaks down interpersonal relationship into six components. These components define what we as individuals are looking to give to others and what we are looking to get from others, which are the core components of all relationships.

As leaders or just as people who are in relationships every single day, we have needs we want to express and needs we want to have fulfilled by others.  These basic components define how we will interact with everyone we have a relationship with.  Our boss. Those we lead. Our spouse. Our kids. Our peers.

The first part of this is the way we express our need for inclusion or involvement to others.  How much do we act in ways that demonstrate want to be made part of what others have going on.  Next is our need to express to others our influence or control of situations or others, our need to lead if you will.  Then finally we express to others our need to give connection or affection, what some might call the warm fuzzies.

On the other side of this is our need to receive these same three things from others.  So again we have a need of some level for people to give connection or show affection to us.  Some might have a very low need for this, but it is still there in everyone.  Then we have a need for some degree of influence or control from others.  In some cases people need clear definitive directions where others might not.  And lastly we all have some level of needing to feel included in what others have going on.

The flow of this in any given interaction goes from Expressed Involvement around the horseshoe to wanted involvement as demonstrated below.

So just another way to look at your personality traits and how they affect your interaction with others.  It creates a very simple flow of conversation and relationships that if you are more educated in how each of these relate to you, you will be able to use in your leadership style or your following style.

If you are interested in learning more about how the FIRO assessments can help you, your team, or your organization jump over and take a look at Personality @ltitude and see if they can do a something to help you be a better leader, team or organization.


New Publishing Schedule

For those that have been visiting here on a regular basis I wanted to make you aware of a change in my current posting schedule.  I had been posting 2-3 times per week.  However, with family commitments I have decided to scale that back.  I will be posting significant articles once per week with occasional shorter observation or question posts about various topics.

Sorry to cut back on this, but it is all part of finding balance…

Absent, but not gone

My apologies for my recent absences in writing on here.  The last two weeks have been the start of school and hockey for my two kids and unfortunately there just weren’t enough hours in the day for everything.

But it makes me consider what happens when leadership is absent?  I think we have all worked in that world at one point or another when you felt like no one was steering the ship.  Maybe you are working there right now. They say that in the absence of leadership people will follow any fool with something to say.  I have not found that to be always true.  In most cases when leadership is absent people lead themselves, and not typically in the same direction.

There are occasions when non-anointed leaders will step up.  When the vacuum of non-leadership is such that the organization is unable to function you will see your “natural leaders” emerge.  However, in many cases when this happens they are simply leading blind with no understanding of the larger goal of the organization.  There is typically a separation between these natural leaders and the big “L” Leadership of the organization, and thus they really don’t know where they are leading to in an organizational context.

The other scenario in this is when leadership is named, but not actually capable of leading.  I think we have all heard someone say “he doesn’t have what it takes to lead” about someone that was actually in a leadership position.  We see this exhibit itself in things like professional sports all the time.  In football the quarterback is the understood leader of the team, but in some cases the player in that position does not have skills as a leader.  If a team is lucky another leader will emerge, but if they are not the leadership will flounder and the team will never coalesce around that person.

So what is the bottom line to this?  It is that leadership is not given by position, or title, or professional accomplishment.  Leadership is a gift, and like all gifts it can neither be suppressed nor can it be forced.  Leadership does not always come from the top, although it should, but rather sometimes it comes from the middle or the bottom or the left or the right.

If you haven’t seen this check out this video about how leadership develops as demonstrated by a shirtless dancing man.

The key is that no one appointed him leader, and yet still eventually people followed.  Followers are “what transforms a lone nut into a leader”.

So what will you step up and lead today?

Back from Vacation

So back from vacation and feeling refreshed and ready for anything!  Working on a post to finish up the subject of motivation, which should be up tomorrow.  Also working on some new posts to discuss some details about personality type and leadership over the next week or two.  So look for those to start hitting the selves next Monday.

Summer is almost over, but there are still a few more fun days left before we start looking toward fall. Go out an enjoy them!